* You thought "Californication" would be banned by Amendment 2.
* You're actually proud of "South Park."
* You have a business degree and are frying burgers at McDonald's.
* You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home from work and he stops at the day care.
* You own a big dog named Aspen, Buck or Cheyenne that wears a bandana.
* A pass does not involve a football or a woman.
* Your SUV tire size exceeds your IQ (and your Driver's Test score).
* You personally wouldn't pay $10 per head to drive up Pike's Peak unless it was the only mountain on earth ...
but you tell all your house guests to do it.
* You can recite the entire Bible from memory, but can't remember to use your turn signal (oh those Co. Springs folk).
* You get depressed after one day of foggy weather.
* You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels "sticky."
* You consider a three-piece suit to be a pair of shorts, a sweatshirt and Birkenstocks.
* You think gun control is not dropping it.
* Your bridal registry is at REI.
* You can run up 10 flights of stairs without huffing and puffing.
* You think that formal wear is ironed denim.
* North means "mountains to the right," south is "mountains to the left"
and east and west are where all those damn liberals keep moving in from.
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