You know you're in Southern California when...


1. Your coworker has eight body piercings and none of them are visible.
2. You make over \$250,000 and you still can't afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation
in English.
4. Your child's 3rd grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring,
and is named Breeze.
5. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
6. You've been to more than one baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown.
8. You know which Brentwood restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
9. A really great parking space can move you to tears.
10. A low-speed pursuit will stop ANY TV braodcast.
11. Gas costs 75 cents more per gallon than anywhere else in the country.
12. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps.
You don't even notice.
13. A woman gets on the bus with live poultry. You don't even notice.
14. Unlike back home, the guy at Starbuck's wearing the baseball cap and
sun glasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.
15. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
16. The gym is packed at 3 pm...on a work day. 17. Your hairdresser is straight, your plummer is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into BDSM, and your Mary Kay
rep is a guy in drag.
18. It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about "STORMWATCH 2000."
19. You have to leave the big company meeting early becasue Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 pm Tae Bo class.
20. Your paper boy has a two-picture deal.
21. The three-hour traffic jam you just sat through wasn't caused by a horrific nine-car
freeway pileup, but by everyone slowing to rubberneck at a lost shoe laying on the shoulder.
22. The weatherman talks about weather in other parts of the country,
as if we really care.
23. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with
their cell phones or pagers.
24. It's sprinkling outside, so you leave an hour or two early to avoid all the
weather-related accidents.
25. You AND your dog have a therapist.



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